“I really hope no-one uses this as a profound, introductory quote on their website one-day, because it means pretty much fuck all. I don’t solve ALL your problems.”

Jesus “The” Christ

Wise words from Jesus there, I think you’ll agree.

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Welcome to my website: part vanity project, part unwarranted self-promotion, part stops me drifting towards my natural inclination for murder. I hope you’ll find something in these pages that makes you laugh, or leak some description of bodily fluids. If not, jog on. No hard feelings. There’s a plentiful supply of porn and pictures of ‘funny’ cats out there just for you.